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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”( l H. O# X( n: z+ t
9 T% D- m7 T$ v2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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, H- c! e" a3 \8 o3 o7 b0 \3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。- m7 T2 a; x0 l. \# d T
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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; ^. @- p( e2 n- Z5 X. ~( ^" E( ]笑死我了。。。- K% [; W- K' ~ r$ { K
7 Z: @& V; ^* W) _! L0 y4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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* ^* C# C$ V3 G- Z. E我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦! f1 g! c% Z9 J2 }
9 d2 P7 ]/ T2 y, u! k) }! C( c她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!* h6 W( j1 s+ p$ c- e% z. q$ J( K
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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" Z. `/ L d% Q' Y: k- ?就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”# Q8 F( o2 t. T
# g/ ~- K) O9 I& m孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…9 `$ D& o3 k" N* [; e8 z
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!+ w* n* R) I5 `& ^, G5 r j
6 w: X3 T, ~( u$ ~一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。- i' t1 f* N% Q; H7 J& u& x
5 \! N9 `- r% ?3 b. Y2 m当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?6 e( ~* o% K( Q& ?4 G
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我,无业闲人一个。! M. z4 ]0 f2 C! u4 n+ S+ K, @
1 S; r# w& e" B+ t- r! F女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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6 a [, m5 ~9 X( {) K# m7 L3 {+ x我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。) o v+ N! a! K7 [1 u
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
" `7 ?$ I4 S6 ?" b1 Y2 S% T& ]6 Q1 I& {9 p4 e) F
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当前离线
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