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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐: M: l6 l1 `/ M8 m, k2 P3 @1 a. @
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4 K/ K- f/ y8 c" \: i今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！1 B5 \! D" h7 r
我先来！
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4 E7 P, I5 g% ^* [0 ZA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”" I* ~* h& J0 o% O7 R* E3 t
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”% a5 |0 b( [* N0 s1 v" h
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9 P0 Z. n1 }# y/ T深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…" A; J0 B' n7 L
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
; X/ j: F: N0 ~2 t% e8 h$ z7 ~每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
0 |3 S {+ P, S! n1 o弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，5 D5 c8 t$ T4 H2 _+ `
所以非常受欢迎。9 }, C' X& e( k* Z
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
9 _. Z7 g/ t& g* x. B问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”. Y; U& u1 Z: K1 K: y
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
+ v5 s6 l/ @2 D/ i# o$ Y( c2 e回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
7 S# Z& n3 h( _ ?+ V' |有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！! E- k+ ~% b$ S, B5 y/ G
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
( Q5 C. o/ ~* g5 h她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
& X! u" s& ? I生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
0 n$ K. V+ C# g9 o) `% ?7 R. _于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
# j% k0 }. @- t6 P! {# f小明：不行: T6 c7 J( ]3 D8 a: ^' R4 G
老师：為什麼？
" C0 f7 T/ N( ]7 G! h* z# E小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分6 P' G0 Y/ g1 r5 Z2 Y7 W2 r
小明：我是照你的话做的
) O1 D' _/ J0 M8 Y3 H8 {' [5 w妈妈：我说了什麼？
4 L. i* q' l1 ^. J! o, |: J小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，! r, \8 l9 t: X2 q2 ]1 I
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，0 ?/ r8 ^( _# m9 @: k- u1 s# T
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”4 j. G: t0 ^: E0 g2 v
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
7 z/ c9 X% K" B8 }9 P5 W4 D# k妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
# a' k* Y `3 s% u小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
: x6 \2 b) T: A然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 6 f2 ~. u0 D4 r1 @. C" }
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。# A* B* A. R( T6 e- W
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