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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”" f7 K/ p! g' Z4 c
* g" W0 @6 q9 c/ } _/ K& z, O0 E2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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! F' F! }6 F8 d& j4 r3 B* Q男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”+ h2 @* g. E% s5 I$ s
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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. E g! g8 Z' h7 O" ^老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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' S! k/ L$ L" ]$ `) O女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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( y2 F8 e/ s2 i5 F( v! F) O笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，6 H2 G( w. m* ?5 N" ~
6 `' f: U) W5 f7 G我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!# X7 w& u) `; w7 x2 f4 K
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!9 t! x+ X5 X' u5 T. Q9 r$ B
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”0 [" e) e5 t8 r0 V* g
! ^9 D3 V! X! x& C* x S4 f7 W恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，- w) m2 N* ]: O5 v' X5 E
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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( ?- d2 \! Y0 C Y6 a. u3 P# s孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…; y1 p+ E) g3 ]6 R5 l
O( x9 B2 {6 d- H5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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3 [, S7 D. S8 J' Z( a4 a" R我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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: _9 o& s; a5 s( L" t一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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; k/ Y3 R% c8 |! m4 _' \. L当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。0 s: n4 f! |$ e5 E
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？$ X9 N8 l% j* y+ s5 @) B" M
8 @: W! j2 ?+ Z+ M& _我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。# q% ~( z$ t' F+ q7 _, B* ^* A
% j: N5 K0 x" U4 M8 S' p6 c" `女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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