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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐7 D2 u. l- J9 a
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！( R1 g2 |" _! V
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
- ?7 {$ V* q- @0 c同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”7 _. u' B1 N( b+ O5 ?: V5 s
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) @' q1 z; I6 ]1 Y% _深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，2 l6 P: c2 ~ c k3 I7 r/ j
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
2 U$ f3 d# F9 \弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
' F- I$ a2 {' y) p所以非常受欢迎。; m+ J( {" b! G, |: t
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，4 w" G: X, s/ {% Q8 A
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”1 t! T; m/ D4 g' u$ t$ S n5 |
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
. J6 [) _/ H" A' _ G+ T; x回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
. Q/ E9 U3 B# X( h# v$ r有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！6 d1 B) e5 T5 [/ E- @
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”6 y; }" y4 s B3 D
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪- |9 ^% t" H- y1 r2 p; p: K
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
; }! ]9 K- h7 e. Z于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
& O, `: W+ }+ _' N9 t$ k& ]& G4 x$ l小明：不行
: y3 s+ s$ m" ` k- c老师：為什麼？. C( \8 t/ g% A3 `. t
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分$ Z4 r" G; k) }; R3 Z6 f7 \# p
小明：我是照你的话做的% V8 q0 d( H8 n
妈妈：我说了什麼？
{ n" O8 O8 `3 `( B8 p小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
9 \ A- {1 t" D7 ^% o" D她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，+ ^) O3 P5 N, A w$ V
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”0 p8 P. z; f. G
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
1 T! s: U( l: o& r妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
/ \8 j0 P# h+ S小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！4 L2 o6 i; H: f7 w" ]* I+ q/ K
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ + @1 m; ?* C) f/ X
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。; ~8 P0 y' P: p5 {. d7 R; _+ e
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