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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
8 h# B8 I/ H" }- G
9 `& S8 L& s N4 t2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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+ v+ j5 C6 e0 Y- f7 R8 U) J0 b, w男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”' u; x4 i. U4 j; B" N
. |9 }. R" z9 P( @3 P' X' q) ] ~3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。; }" P% u- o" R# y
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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* N5 F2 V2 W+ p女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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) a; q! D/ V; ~5 F4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,5 H1 n3 m! {! F, f
$ R, x: @2 n- y+ b5 q7 f+ z: v! T可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!$ F3 x) Q/ Y9 ^( I
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,) ~# g9 Z( i1 r' O
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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. g3 \1 X: x! g5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,6 Y& U5 s$ X x* F
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!# | q3 A/ O+ P( a1 p$ y2 ?% _9 U
7 O0 H# |3 u. b% I, L' v' \一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。0 U' \3 v+ o' \0 a h
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?7 l3 w0 S3 z: y3 B. ]! z# a
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我,无业闲人一个。% q" d% O' N. L" H; M: ` B r* @
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?( D' r5 k- _% o6 `/ q) x9 m2 \% H) G
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。) z. G. P& i6 ~$ }8 O4 C
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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