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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
# i: ~2 L0 O, H+ u3 R' e& q# D% w: Z7 n- f j- z. ?& }
* i) a* `4 K6 q( P u# A( r$ r今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
8 F# q; C+ L, z; _8 G: ?9 o2 h我先来！' J0 R" N' f! @2 {* r
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”: @" q( g* q6 t/ J& W- |
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”2 t+ f, ^. A: @ c
( I5 I- W( m( [ l( ^) [
) q# }) _; m" {5 t) k- N7 x. p) F, W深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
# o2 g, q! X" e1 v- u; b% q每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”% Y2 q+ c+ Q! s+ g0 a' C
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，. S' _; c5 m- \ a* E# l
所以非常受欢迎。
% Y' \* y4 \+ {1 {$ L/ ], m第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
$ Q$ Z1 ^ L+ S V2 T问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”3 _7 H0 y! {$ e; Y
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，; ^8 z7 \! m! }4 c
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：/ q3 T( i d }3 t4 K
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
$ L7 q5 @$ @7 ~& z2 H不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”6 R) V) }: {& ]% O* n) x
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
. e2 t5 e8 z( U0 `4 V' w生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
' u3 ]2 g; N% t4 m- t9 H于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
# N- T0 N0 K" R1 _; }, S% {$ {9 f小明：不行
7 u% t# ~: F; A% {老师：為什麼？
; H2 E5 T4 L& _& A% C# [! U小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分! V7 V2 J9 U* b! \0 H7 W; r. _/ z) @7 q$ Z
小明：我是照你的话做的
9 O G, x( D% f+ Z妈妈：我说了什麼？
% j! v& Z0 v* B) B$ U小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
# F$ t0 d9 g% }* q3 d S* F8 U/ S她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，* L. T; l( L# {$ c
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
U' t% [6 D0 n5 n小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
/ P6 g5 |' A2 s# b* }妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？: O1 P3 X2 {" @" O
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
0 _! [3 H1 m2 ~- [然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ + g% \: c( y5 B, k" u, t
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$ l8 T i$ A$ A- \: w Z大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。" H4 G$ p+ y$ D
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