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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”+ P; Y4 C( b# r# \* r/ i3 {; d
9 p' P+ z* Z% _4 R男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。# }0 Q: q& q1 r I# _! M( f2 s; y5 |
L7 ^9 m6 h/ i+ p; \1 ]笑死我了。。。3 [; ` f8 m8 X+ c$ T
" A `# Q1 B% r! v4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，) t G9 t2 }! Y4 A% T
! m" Q/ S8 R {& m! e* U我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!! N! P, c7 @5 k" t$ s2 F8 ^
9 s, _4 y0 x; @8 f! N7 G6 m- q6 D
晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”/ P* G2 O' z, U6 u2 J, M; F8 l ^
8 i& \8 j3 M7 f! @+ B9 e) p% [恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，9 E/ k/ P# ~- M9 _
% ?. z' w! \* H就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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4 ?* {( Y8 ]. h0 z7 C2 t! b孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…9 i, Y+ T8 O% ~& q# O3 s
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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: f2 r. ?/ o c" \( n# d" O我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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( s0 i* z2 F3 T: c+ q$ R一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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' _% Q# ~3 B A ], @% `当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？! ]% s# Y! G/ O3 D. i
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我，无业闲人一个。( b V) {4 c& X9 {
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。8 |: M: O! i, m) E
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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