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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”2 E& w( Z. m7 m$ P7 ~
! T8 G) G7 d0 I2 s6 {( b# D2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”+ `, }0 i* l9 f p; k2 w
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”7 x. b% u9 D/ b1 f, o- \
- Q, v* e7 ], o) m" }1 Y3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
; ^6 P" r2 Y+ p+ k F7 O' ] C" a* q! n$ n: Z
老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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# D, W: G: e# P0 |) ?5 g3 G女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。/ l. ?8 ?6 A+ r5 O; i6 i2 F
% ~/ n' v1 O& u$ O/ z! X8 f
笑死我了。。。
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3 m z; x2 K% x4 T$ p- B9 R. m+ K$ t4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，/ V- D: p! Q, \4 |! l3 f) Y: s
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
6 D; Q, n4 w) |+ s8 S. t, @# O" O) l: Z4 o+ K
我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
$ {# j2 Z5 m" f1 v9 \7 A% [/ G( n& {/ {. t8 o/ T/ P
她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!: L' o- r8 j+ r7 e
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”3 K. w* d0 X5 d* T' h
+ D7 ` v7 l Q$ P, t
恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，% t: f6 G: J' ?0 ]* |8 }3 t
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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- W4 v- L- S5 H! n( l& T k孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…; h/ o5 y7 P: A& W+ f( t D, p- X0 K
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，3 F& L; _4 l8 Q' T
- u+ ~4 W, v. j( I) i我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！/ c3 v7 G, {' T/ o
$ u, E0 n+ k, i! l2 w一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。* [+ [- V3 e% L
0 `; v( d2 M4 y5 C当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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8 T5 _0 r( e/ G- B4 F4 Y我，无业闲人一个。- W* g9 x$ C& M p4 p& m7 w/ d
3 o, z" r: p* {女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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/ K& q! \4 }, t4 ^6 W4 ?- s我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…9 a* k% ^( e n& ^0 E" p
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当前离线
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