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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”" ^8 x, X- A; Y" Y9 O1 X
" i1 ?' C* }; T! Y4 k2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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7 b8 ?8 w& `; K9 m男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”, {! y; p, `! h1 d, d2 }: ^
7 d& D- j. Q# T8 g9 n% s7 K) a3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
$ l2 G( ]* {; U8 I/ z, ^1 e G& K4 j) i" D# s
老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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% t- j' x7 d& Y) E* j女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。+ f( n. S! f+ t* d, P4 o
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，) e2 {* b5 C' U- t" h* x+ a2 [
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，# z {% k# x I) Q: Z+ O
: J6 |9 \& q7 U5 J0 J! M/ \- l我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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& ^4 B: @* G8 H" j她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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1 i6 ]) P' r. g晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
" q+ [4 J" P! {( X9 `: I0 k* n, J l
恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
& a1 f* Z: H2 k+ r& A2 s8 h- d: }' K# ]" p/ E
就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
/ w9 x% X. P9 u/ w+ ?/ e L2 L
. w9 G8 M# }8 K' L1 s% T孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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u$ Y3 Y; M( K) r' H' D& I我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！) p/ T0 C" B4 I& X+ E' b
2 }( {6 ]9 v! D( \; q6 w5 F1 H
一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。$ f- m1 N2 ]' M: @3 e1 @4 K
& _2 ^) p8 ^. J! `! x! q当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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* X# k) {0 z* [' U) M3 j我，无业闲人一个。! f, V( f- \7 V9 b1 U
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
$ A" w% y9 z1 F( u: r
+ o V3 f4 x6 `: G( |) n我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…: Q) m, x( T4 n" ~/ ]* p
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当前离线
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