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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”7 c) b/ U: P7 b" H
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”1 {8 L) x. d. O$ J/ W9 O) w& w# {
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。 z5 w8 M" S% a( M* C
" m' D, R$ T* f' [老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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- ]6 J2 l- e5 t3 M8 P! n女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，- J/ R- u7 O" U C5 X
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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6 u5 _; z# e# t) s0 q我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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% p0 E# }! {0 Y4 e4 C. R- v晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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# D Y2 [) r# O% A! Q; T恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
6 G. r4 f8 _0 Z; e! \
- E# v" I1 q4 M# c就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…" N+ x6 X: ~+ }0 A8 G
7 O+ n% |3 E& d& t- K [( b: c5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，, t3 P: _2 K V8 v3 i
, D# {& E! Y' V) x! D+ Z/ x' P, B" K我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！0 G0 n$ R ?0 s/ K4 I E7 X
# t: C2 u# f/ I3 ^一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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8 S9 y) {; X4 @* y当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。9 z+ f3 @9 l2 x/ B. q6 H1 E$ D
$ g) e$ d* y) ?. A$ _3 k5 n4 H+ m7 [6 w: ?女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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8 I1 R, T* `( ]! u+ R- H我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。2 ?3 s3 O8 ^1 s: q
9 @# v' G' v7 F3 w6 j$ {" J7 C女：滚她妈犊子，滚…' s% A& Z, C2 t8 G4 l
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当前离线
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