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1.局花
* ]2 E2 x( k+ {1 P. [/ r局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，+ ]$ F0 `( L0 O+ @
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
) z P2 @8 Q: Y4 t% Z0 R小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。/ f8 _5 {$ u) F8 v9 _
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
0 R) E: Z4 n/ k- u& Z4 W* q0 U% K5 _) q l& P
2.媳妇( f& J* u" {) r/ D4 l2 }% i
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。7 y) {/ g6 q$ v5 x1 g6 e
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”4 b% ?/ t9 _$ y0 g* E# v, A4 \) |
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”# N. {$ C" {9 A8 m
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺. L: f& V3 O# ], z R% P
, p" Z$ b) f3 J2 H! O5 O: Y
3.倒贴
3 u/ Z% a& I) @4 h1 l- o' |! v" {3 I过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。' R+ x7 j1 I& m8 n& f- P
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
9 G* N- T( o9 l2 k5 d/ E5 H1 d老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”1 r3 Q9 f1 e: G3 X- V2 n J
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
* A- Q( c* t. C' { ~* G/ m; p4 ?7 }话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，3 T9 d5 j) l$ s: [! b
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
5 p% B; [4 g6 D9 ^' t/ x评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊% Y* C& h# J+ }/ i, d5 m- f
0 M) C2 B% G8 X( K$ s
4.刺激- b4 e' i) Q. P$ \3 k- D
今天我走在街上，
7 {* u- A; V" t0 o对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
4 N3 k# w" N( m$ r，我心想完了。
% R8 \7 s( ]4 y. Q4 L过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。. p( H$ w* c% M4 p6 @
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。+ o, D8 o. P9 x+ P# O U
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！ \/ P& |0 A2 Q! S1 ~( j
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激# S. w1 [) E+ q n. ?& ?: Y e
% M; T4 e5 h3 s, E% p* s" N, h5 r5.不加倍/ O: `$ o, [$ q- Z2 M: o/ P' x4 F
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，' D( R9 |, \2 T, a8 J
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
( w7 Z3 d; W2 h: k4 z老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
+ [, o+ _( ?4 X小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
! e6 ~9 h& f4 x5 Z小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
: c/ q0 P9 ?+ U0 B5 c7 k评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的% D1 l% Z6 j6 g5 E/ a3 }7 r6 d
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