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1.局花
+ \* C& |& j+ P* R局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
& U. j$ P% d0 }: ^- N% A心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，5 o/ w9 _$ s& p( Y9 o7 ], g: Y: P* m
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。! k4 d3 g9 B; Q) R
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么; B' q9 d* ~! U/ ^7 k
- n v4 Q- ^- j. i$ ~* s1 [, n2.媳妇
& H' ]- r; _/ x& Q6 O7 [10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
# |9 A. Q0 E+ j c, F4 {他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& A3 y, n- |; k! y+ c* C& \
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”# W, C! B: V$ V: _$ `: G ?% N
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
1 v5 i) F. ~4 l' Z' v
0 g9 U& y* i x0 s; z, N: E3.倒贴
4 p" k7 U7 p* T0 M0 ]+ X6 a k过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。) W- `6 s6 G5 ]5 N
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。0 \) n$ W" S# \
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
/ x# ^. n5 T; c3 X8 _1 F老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”) _* S5 {# n# R
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
7 Y) Z. a7 L$ R" t“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”( v( `4 Q$ ^, k f4 O
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
1 v3 o5 k1 X( O6 K8 x' i
$ c( ~6 j4 z3 A) ?4.刺激4 J8 i2 K& b0 }
今天我走在街上，! q0 Z! L, R8 U5 \5 M- i! T
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
; |# k0 }) I @，我心想完了。
( y$ F5 m& C+ Y8 ~1 _! \过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
! y: s- ^- h5 M“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。: V7 F. N4 S' k, Q6 B
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！ Z; j8 h# O! s. B
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激! f0 Z8 B0 _8 e# b% \0 F5 q& g7 m# ^
9 H g( T3 u( S5.不加倍
2 M) E- }$ \. A7 A, N1 D小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，' d6 T( L' |4 H/ w1 r
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
( K. \6 S! h8 g ]老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
3 O) O$ K8 w6 m/ \小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”2 E( i4 T- G, x# Z& ?3 I6 P
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
, R q% M6 U/ ^' ]评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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